I inhale junk food and can binge watch an entire season of a show in one night and feel accomplished. I'm a toooouuuch reactive and I continue to convince myself that the stressful and near panic inducing moments created by my procrastination produce an environment that births my best work.
I don't know that people ever really change. I don't care for that word, really. It infers immediate or instant modification as if all it takes is a decision to BE different. I think the reality is we gain tools and learn better ways of managing, coping, and dealing with our issues. I think it's an ongoing evolution. Instead of stuffing our demons in the closet and putting duct tape across their mouths, we sit them down and have conversations with them. Acknowledge them. Listen to them. Let them show us the pain and the weak parts without looking away in shame or fear.
Then, maybe we create boundaries. We create an environment of healing that includes seeking out help in whatever form is constructive for us. We learn about ourselves and love ourselves. We may meet those issues every single day, but once we gain the tools, we can "Nanny Jo" them (y'all know Super Nanny, right?)! How we interact and allow them to behave in our life evolves. They won't be running the show anymore. They won't be interrupting every good thing in our life and completely running amuck. They won't magically disappear, either. They will more than likely scream for attention from time to time. They are needy like that. But, now you will know them. You will see them for what they are, invitations to heal and love yourself. More importantly, you will see you for who you are....the one who is beyond capable of doing that.
If we seek change, we must first seek to understand.
So, I tried that. I'm so proud of myself for that. It was exhausting and hard and I had a few cookies and generally "treated myself" for the better part of a few years. I'm still in conversation with those issues, but I've come a long way.
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